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One Test Is Worth A Thousand Expert Opinions
Posted by Lizzie
on
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection." - Thomas Paine
It's hard to lose almost absolutely everything at once and still have people who need you.
You have to deal with your own shit, make sure you're still functioning enough to take care of your primary obligations, and be happy enough to share the happy with the people who are unhappy.
Fake it 'til you make it.
That's some of the best advice I've ever gotten from anybody.
There's this kid I know. I don't see him much and when I do, it's always random. But he always leaves me with something that I end up carrying around with me for the rest of my life.
The previous advice is an example.
All tangents aside, my formula for situations such as these revolves around just that.
Psychologists call it repression, I call it forcing the happiness.
In my opinion, life is too short to dwell on the things that you cannot change or to focus on the fact that you've failed in some capacity or someone else has failed you.
I mean, obviously dwell on things enough to gather some kind of lesson from them, but don't let it beat you down.
And sometimes it's hard to be the brave little toaster that you want to be so you just gotta pretend that you are until you become what you want to be.
And ideally, you would have other people to help you out so you didn't have to try so hard to fake it, but sometimes you just don't. Sometimes you have no one else so you have to go it alone and that is a reality that everyone comes to terms with at one point or another.
And it's difficult. And we all fail at this. We all have to feel on some level. And feeling is not bad in and of itself. It's good to feel. You NEED to feel. But it's how much negativity you let yourself feel as a result of that initial (pure, if you will) feeling that's the problem.
On Thursday/Friday, my life fell to shit with all 4 present areas of sadness peaking in severity within those 24 hours.
And despite my best efforts, I absolutely could not force the happy. And I cried for three days straight. But I woke up today with the resolve that I'd done my crying, I'd dealt with all aspects of all the issues, and I'm ready to rise to the challenge of being brave and facing life and feigning happiness until I achieve it.
And so far, it hasn't been that bad.
Acceptance is sometimes the most comforting state you could ever hope to be in.
And there is no way to force the happy until you're able to appreciate the happiness that actually exists. Like football with friends and a late night roadtrip to Sonic with a car full of boys.
So, my basic comprehensive point is that you gotta pull yourself out of the teary phase and pick yourself up because once you acquire the resolve to do it, you'll have the opportunity to experience the happiness that still does exist and the act of being happy will be less demanding. You'll reach the happy state once again with ease.
The happiness you experience reinforces the happiness you're trying to fake until they're one in the same.
Appreciate each moment.
And sometimes the fact that other people need you to pull yourself out of it can be the most motivating reason of all.
Finally, (and you're probably sick of reading this kind of thing because I think I bring it up in almost all blogs at some point or another, BUT) if you see someone else who's failing and can't make it out of the teary phase, help them pick themselves up. Because sometimes things are so bad that you just absolutely can't do it alone no matter how badly you want to. Be there for each other. Think about how badly it sucks to feel like they do and go above and beyond to ensure that no one has to feel that way ever.
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It's hard to lose almost absolutely everything at once and still have people who need you.
You have to deal with your own shit, make sure you're still functioning enough to take care of your primary obligations, and be happy enough to share the happy with the people who are unhappy.
Fake it 'til you make it.
That's some of the best advice I've ever gotten from anybody.
There's this kid I know. I don't see him much and when I do, it's always random. But he always leaves me with something that I end up carrying around with me for the rest of my life.
The previous advice is an example.
All tangents aside, my formula for situations such as these revolves around just that.
Psychologists call it repression, I call it forcing the happiness.
In my opinion, life is too short to dwell on the things that you cannot change or to focus on the fact that you've failed in some capacity or someone else has failed you.
I mean, obviously dwell on things enough to gather some kind of lesson from them, but don't let it beat you down.
And sometimes it's hard to be the brave little toaster that you want to be so you just gotta pretend that you are until you become what you want to be.
And ideally, you would have other people to help you out so you didn't have to try so hard to fake it, but sometimes you just don't. Sometimes you have no one else so you have to go it alone and that is a reality that everyone comes to terms with at one point or another.
And it's difficult. And we all fail at this. We all have to feel on some level. And feeling is not bad in and of itself. It's good to feel. You NEED to feel. But it's how much negativity you let yourself feel as a result of that initial (pure, if you will) feeling that's the problem.
On Thursday/Friday, my life fell to shit with all 4 present areas of sadness peaking in severity within those 24 hours.
And despite my best efforts, I absolutely could not force the happy. And I cried for three days straight. But I woke up today with the resolve that I'd done my crying, I'd dealt with all aspects of all the issues, and I'm ready to rise to the challenge of being brave and facing life and feigning happiness until I achieve it.
And so far, it hasn't been that bad.
Acceptance is sometimes the most comforting state you could ever hope to be in.
And there is no way to force the happy until you're able to appreciate the happiness that actually exists. Like football with friends and a late night roadtrip to Sonic with a car full of boys.
So, my basic comprehensive point is that you gotta pull yourself out of the teary phase and pick yourself up because once you acquire the resolve to do it, you'll have the opportunity to experience the happiness that still does exist and the act of being happy will be less demanding. You'll reach the happy state once again with ease.
The happiness you experience reinforces the happiness you're trying to fake until they're one in the same.
Appreciate each moment.
And sometimes the fact that other people need you to pull yourself out of it can be the most motivating reason of all.
Finally, (and you're probably sick of reading this kind of thing because I think I bring it up in almost all blogs at some point or another, BUT) if you see someone else who's failing and can't make it out of the teary phase, help them pick themselves up. Because sometimes things are so bad that you just absolutely can't do it alone no matter how badly you want to. Be there for each other. Think about how badly it sucks to feel like they do and go above and beyond to ensure that no one has to feel that way ever.
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