And The Four Right Chords Can Make Me Cry

Posted by Lizzie on Saturday, February 13, 2010
This is a song about Susan
This is a song about the girl next door
This is a song about the everyday occurrences that make you feel like letting go
Yes, I think we've got a problem
- Everclear, So Much For The Afterglow

These first three are all related. To be concluded in Part 2.

1a) I hate winter. I wake up looking like a dead depressed skeleton of a person. It's cold as fuck, my skin lacks the ability to bounce back and look alive, and I have huge dark chronic circles under my eyes which no amount of cover-up could ever fix. And I'm super pale, as per usual. Seeing that face in the mirror every morning just amplifies the seasonal affective disorder or whatever it is that physically or psychologically prevents me from being happy in the winter. And goddamn, the wanderlust is bad.

1b) I love my iPod. I emotionally react to music when it's loud. And when American Hi-Fi shuffles up, things get messy. It takes me back to being 15 and then I start feeling immature and then the music gets loud and then I want to ruin boys like I did when I was 17 and 18 and 19 and 20. RUIN THEM. Yeah, this music thing... it gets out of hand. I don't even like American H-Fi. It's music for 12 year olds. Anyway, it's good that I rarely listen to music anymore. Music used to be my thing. I used to be way fucked up too. And I can only imagine that my emotional reaction to the music nicely intensified the situation. But on a more rational and less personal level, how could you not react to Flavor of the Weak? GOD HELP ME if I ever sit around waiting for a boy to want me (we all do this at least once... often more than once). Seriously. I want to get blitzed on Friday night and swing dance on Saturday night and go to the aquarium on Sunday. Girls, go get blitzed, go swing dance on Saturday night, and go to the aquarium on Sunday whether you have a boy or not and whether you want a boy or not. We all relearn this lesson at least once. Often more than once. If you don't take care of your entertainment needs, you'll be unhappy. Take your boy if he wants to go, of course. But if he doesn't, just go do your thing. Not every day of the week, obviously. But enough to make you happy.

1c) I'm going to New Orleans for Mardi Gras to spend some time with my best friend Julia and live it up because I'm 22 and that's the best age to say, "Fuck this," and do what you want. So, fuck this, I'm doing what I want.

2) Recipe for disaster: skeletal/hollow self + wanderlust + loud music + unemployment + everything is snowballing into "I need something else." All of that (minus the unemployment) is the January-February norm, but this year I'm hoping to get the wanderlust and the SAD and the self-imposed cage all out of my system and go be wild like I am during the summer and how I used to be before other things happened so that maybe I can enjoy the rest of winter. What better place to be wild than in New Orleans with my best friend Julia (who I miss 20,000 moments a day) during MARDI GRAS. Goodbye, savings. You aren't worth the wasted opportunities. Plus, I'm helping out with stuff (here I come cabinets) which is my favorite thing of all time. I'll probably be a gold digging whore in 5-10 years just so I can live off my husbands salary and spend my days volunteering.

I LOVE 22. Get me on that Amtrak.



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