An Entire Lifetime Comes Down To Someone Else's Four Sentences And The Entire Life Then Changes Direction

Posted by Lizzie on Wednesday, March 04, 2009
My sister and I share a Twitter because we're kind of the same person a lot of the time so we might as well. She leans a lot more toward the Jesus and I lean a lot more toward the fucking up at life (sort of... read on for clarification), but in general, we're pretty much the same.

Our primary reason for Twittering is so that we can follow John Mayer's Twitter. You'd think that it would be because we love each other and want to make the distance seem not so great by sharing something together through a collaborative means of expression. No. We just want to follow John Mayer's Twitter. That's how we roll.

Honestly, it might be the best thing to happen to me. I merely thought that his Twitter perhaps would add humor to my bleak days. But I had no idea that the man is WISE.

Case in point...

March 1st: "You do know that any time you decide you want to be different you can just start, right?"

March 3rd: "You can be greater than your track record. Greater than the sum of your parts. You can be greater than has ever been hinted at... DO IT."

I finally get it. I FINALLY fucking get it. I mean, the first one seems entirely plausible and I totally believed it and thought that I was already doing it when I read it the first time. Psh, yeah, I can be different. Any time I want.

It wasn't until he posted the second one that I realized I was so so wrong.

Despite all the things that have happened, I don't need to carry any of that around anymore. No one else gets to dictate what I will be. Letting all of that affect you and influence your feelings, actions, tendencies, etc. means that you're not entirely you. Forcing extreme independence (or whatever your defense mechanism might be) is actually just a function of severe dependence on all that you can't let go and all that you want to prevent in the future. In trying to free yourself, you actually become less free (I think philosophers have been saying that for hundreds of years, but I'm not sure.) Walls hurt you more than you can ever be hurt without them.

I don't have to think that I'm only capable of the worst. I don't have to think that what I have left to work with isn't something that can be made into something better. I don't have to think that just because no one's ever been supportive of the fact that I can be different means that I actually can't be different.

Long story short:

I'm choosing to be different.

I can be greater than my track record. I can be greater than the sum of my parts. And I can be greater than has ever been hinted at.

I'm doing it.

I think that all of us can do it.

And find the people who help make you better. They will change your life.



"Sum of your parts" is so tricky though! If you say, "I am who I am no matter what happened in my past," you're effectively trashing the wisdom you picked up from however many years of your life.

It's really hard being that alive.

noooo you're not... you're taking that wisdom as a function of all the things that have happened, and using it to be better.. .

and i'm not saying i'm going to be a different person... it's just that i'm going to really really try hard to focus on my best qualities instead of my worst... and sometimes your real qualities are buried underneath fake qualities... i'm trying to get back to the real qualities

Well I guess that's kind of what I'm saying? I mean if you want it with all your heart it's you, isn't it?

anyway, keep me updated :o

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